


The Telanovella Club   (1/1)

by redsilkribbons (tapdance00)



Category: Star Trek 2009
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-08
Updated: 2011-04-08
Packaged: 2017-11-07 16:02:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/432947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tapdance00/pseuds/redsilkribbons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spock and Bones have a secret.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Telanovella Club   (1/1)

Title: The Telanovella Club (1/1)  
Author: [](http://redsilkribbons.livejournal.com/profile)[**redsilkribbons**](http://redsilkribbons.livejournal.com/)  
Fandom: Star Trek 2009  
Beta: As always, thanks to [](http://illogicalyet.livejournal.com/profile)[**illogicalyet**](http://illogicalyet.livejournal.com/) for betaing.  
Series: Star Trek XI  
Characters/Pairings: Mainly Spock&Bones friendship with K/S on the side.  
Summary: Spock and Bones have a secret.  
Warnings: None  
Rating: PG  
Word Count: ~5200  
Disclaimer: Not my characters; no profit being made.  
Also posted [here.](http://redsilkribbons.dreamwidth.org/1950.html?#cutid1)

The Telanovella Club

Bones gets into _Ariel 42_ after his divorce. When he gets his own place, he invests in a massive television. It shows up as an extra one month as part of his television package, and he starts watching it in his sparsely furnished, too-warm single apartment. At first he tells himself he watches because there’s nothing else on and he refuses to be a pathetic divorcee who only watches sports and porn alternately. Finally, he gives up the pretense and orders the entire back catalogue of the ridiculous drama- twelve seasons worth. He watches dozens of episodes at a time, only pausing for food, booze and the bathroom. By the time he pulls himself out of his stupor and manages to shower and shave daily without prompting, he’s well and truly addicted.

Spock finds his first few weeks at Starfleet to be much more confusing than he had originally surmised. It isn’t his coursework that’s the problem- the first year curriculum is well within Spock’s grasp. His peers, however, prove to be a constant mystery. The subtleties of human interpersonal relationships are lost on Spock. When he informs Cadet Dao that forming a physics study partnership would not, in fact, be mutually beneficial as his abilities in the field far out-strip hers, Cadet Dao calls him an ‘arrogant bastard’ and bursts into tears. Thus, Spock acknowledges his need for guidance in understanding human culture. When he seeks his mother’s advice, she purses her lips and agrees to help. The next morning, Spock finds a special edition download of the first three seasons of _Ariel 42_ in his mailbox. Spock is bemused. _Ariel 42_ , apparently, ‘depicts the lives, loves and hardships of settlers on the new Earth colony, _Ariel 42_.’ It seems informative, Spock notes approvingly, and settles down to watch.

*********************

“Hey Bones!,” Jim calls from across the green. It’s Thursday evening and Bones is tired; he’s been up to his elbows in purple neural slime from dissecting a Deltan brain and he just wants to go home. Jim jogs to catch up with him.

“What’s up, Jim?”

“Done for the day?” Jim asks.

“Yup,” Bones says. “It’s been a hell of a day and I’m headed home.”

“A couple of us are going to the Blue Fox and then we’re headed to the karaoke place that everyone’s talking about. You’ve gotta come.”

Bones scowls, “I’ve just had a four hour practical. The only place I’m going is home, to shower. I don’t plan on following your drunk ass around all night.” The scowl deepens. “And I’m _definitely_ not listening to you sing.”

“Aww come on, old man,” Jim wheedles. “You’re just gonna end up drinking alone anyway. It’s not good for you Bones.”

“I’m gonna _sleep_ for twelve hours, that’s what I’m gonna do,” Bones says, thumbing the lockpad when they reach his door.

Jim sighs, all put upon. “Oh fine. But you’re definitely coming out tomorrow.”

“Sure thing, kid,” Bones says, scrubbing his hand over his face tiredly.

Jim beams. “Cool. See you later.” He tilts his head in concern, “Get some rest; you look like shit.”

Bones rolls his eyes, shuts the door, begins to strip immediately and heads for the shower. He emerges, clouded in steam and puts on his oldest, softest blue flannel pyjamas. He closes the blinds and putters around his tiny kitchen. It’s only once he’s ensconced on the couch with a steaming mug of tea (he manfully drinks it black) and a bowl of buttery popcorn that he turns on the T.V.

 _“Last week, on_ Ariel 42: _Shania eloped with Teddy. Bitsie and Bill went to the courthouse to try to stop them, but were apprehended by Constable Ray on an arson charge. Meanwhile, Belle started to relearn the use of her hands- but what will she do now that she knows the truth about Lacey’s birth?”_

As the music soars, Bones cuddles his popcorn a little closer and smiles.

*********************

Spock is in his dorm room. He is sitting on his bed, spine erect. He blinks at the monitor in front of him utterly perplexed. On screen, a large-busted, large-haired woman is knocking on her neighbour’s door with a selection of baked goods in hand.

_“Hello, there.” A woman in a leopard print robe smiles at large-bust-large-hair as she opens the door. She strikes a sultry pose against the door frame._

Spock leans forward.

_The two women launch themselves at each other and begin to kiss feverishly on the counter next to a frosted chocolate bunt cake._

Spock’s eyes widen in surprise.

_The two women are interrupted when the back door opens and leopard-print-robe’s husband (presumably) walks in._

Spock is on the edge of his seat.

_The two women straighten their clothes and move to opposite ends of the room. The husband ambles in and doesn’t find anything amiss. “This is Melissa, darling. She lives on our left...”_

Spock breathes out in relief and leans back against the wall.

*********************

After Bones starts serving on the Enterprise, his _Ariel 42_ -filled Thursday nights fall by the wayside. He doesn’t have weekly access to new media in the depths of space. Whenever they stop at a Starbase or a human populated planet the ship gets a large selection of entertainment in the form of data chips. Crew members can sign out things on a temporary basis. Bones usually manages to schedule a free shift for himself when they stop to resupply. He lingers and browses as he waits for the initial rush to dwindle before he sidles over to the A section of the makeshift ship library. Today, the computer informs him that there are four new episodes of _Ariel 42_ available. He signs them out and logs out of his account, waiting to be sure that the terminal returns to the innocuous welcome screen. He casts a furtive look around the room, just to be sure, before he leaves.

Bones settles down to watch the new episodes in his quarters with the door locked. He faces the door and wears headphones and soft, blue flannel pyjamas. He gets through three episodes before he falls asleep, exhausted; he’ll save the last one for his next off shift.

*********************

Spock is not miffed. He watches one episode of _Ariel 42_ a week, although he usually runs out of new material before the ship’s databanks are replenished. As a result, he aims to sign out a new episode right after it comes in- to maintain his schedule for research on human cultural norms and not for any other reason. For the last six months, Spock has entered the ship’s library an average of 1.82 hours after new material is transferred in. In each instance, he has found that ‘all new episodes of _Ariel 42_ are currently signed out.’ However, the data chips are always returned within three days.

So Spock is not miffed. He is simply curious. Also, on the previous episode, Jerry discovers Bitsie has a husband in the east end of the colony and a wife and child two towns over and has decided to confront Bitsie. It will be interesting to observe the impact of such a confrontation on their interpersonal dynamic, as well as the larger implications for the colony. And, Spock has a well-formed hypothesis theorizing that Joseph’s return from the dead is a ploy engineered by his evil twin, Noah, that still needs confirmation. It is for this reason that Spock hacks the ship’s library records.

*********************

The next time the Enterprise stops to resupply, the Science Department also requests the aid of a few of Bones' people to look at some blood-like slime cultures. The medical supplies end up coming in last and Bones is pissed because Sickbay is short staffed. So that means _he_ has to help go through one thousand preloaded hypos, make sure they’re put away properly _and_ sign for the frankly alarming amount of stuff that’s been dumped in the middle of his Sickbay. When he finally signs off on two hundred and thirty doses of Zelevian Wasting Disease vaccine (and, really, what are the chances that more than half the ship will spontaneously contract Zelevian Wasting Disease?) he breathes a sigh of relief. He heads for the library, his mood lifting. At least the crowds will have dissipated.

When he gets there, the room’s almost empty. There are three female ensigns in science blues giggling over something in the T section and one guy diligently picking through reality T.V. titles. Bones gets to the A’s and feels his stomach drop. There is no _Ariel 42_ to be seen. Could it not have come in this month? Bones checks the computer. _Ariel 42_ has apparently already been signed out. Bones scowls.

The first new episode comes in the next day. The next one comes in the next week and the third one is returned the week after that. Bones is furious.

*********************

Ever since he and Jim had become romantically involved, Spock has made it a point to emerge from his lab and eat at least one meal a day with him, crisis permitting. This little ritual reminds him of family dinners at home. Thus, Spock is in the mess hall and Jim is talking.

“So, Scotty’s setting up the competition like a round robin tourney. Lieutenant Jan has this ten foot scorpion thing.”

The Captain is regaling Spock with yet another tale of “Adventures in Engineering”. Spock has come to appreciate Jim’s unique viewpoint on a wide variety of topics, however, his mind is currently preoccupied with more pressing matters. The ship has just taken inventory today, and Spock cannot find a logical reason to over-stock Sickbay two months in a row.

“And Team D is basing their bot on those spiky green-and-blue things from Delissa III.”

“ _Saltopis Lyphidia,_ ” Spock replies mechanically. “Captain,” he begins before Jim can continue, “there is something I must attend to. May we continue this discussion at dinner?”

“Of course,” Jim says, surprised. He claps Spock on the back. “I’ll see you later.”

Spock makes his get-away sedately, but increases his pace by 27% as he rounds the corner and walks towards the library.

*********************

Bones is in the process of signing out not four but _five_ episodes of _Ariel 42_ when Spock finds him.

“Hey Spock,” Bones says, covertly palming the data chips and slipping them in his pocket.

“Doctor,” Spock replies in greeting. “I see you have secured the new episodes of _Ariel 42_.” Spock nods to indicate Bones hand.

Bones sputters and turns purple very slowly. “What’s _Ariel 42_?” he asks in feigned confusion.

Spock looks surprised. “I possess override codes for the library record, Doctor. I know it is you who frequently loans out the datachips.”

“You sneaky bastard; you hacked into my records!” Bones hisses.

Spock looks decidedly shifty. “I simply wanted to determine the identity of the person who caused me to postpone my research schedule by three days.”

“Research schedule?” Bones scoffs.

“Indeed. I find _Ariel 42_ helpful in studying the finer aspects of human emotion.”

Bones squirms, “Look can we talk about this somewhere else?” One of the nurses from Sickbay is flipping through something on their left and she is slightly too close for comfort.

“I appear to have angered you. Have I breached some code of conduct by discussing your preferred choice of entertainment with you? I was given to understand that discussing personal likes and dislikes is desirable in conversation unless the topic pertains to controversial matters such as politics.”

The nurse is gazing at the screen on her terminal a little too intently for Bones’ liking. “Just follow me,” he growls and storms towards Sickbay. As his office door slides shut, Bones moves behind his desk and gestures for Spock to take the seat across from him. He pours out a healthy dose of scotch, which Spock demurs when offered, so Bones downs the shot himself. He turns to look at Spock and then decides to pour himself another glass.

“Doctor, is there something you wish to discuss?” Spock prompts, sitting on the edge of the puffy leather chair with his hands folded in his lap.

Bones takes a sip of his drink. “Spock,” he says. “Spock. We don’t always get along.”

“Though they are helpful, I find your contributions illogical 95.9 percent of the time. This causes animosity between us.”

“Um. Yeah. Spock,” Bones tries again. “Look, we’ve been through a whole bunch of stuff together. I would-” here Bones grits his teeth and takes another drink- “I would consider us friends.”

“Vulcans do not have friends. You are, however, a most esteemed colleague. Despite your irrationality, you have proved yourself to be a genius in your field.”

“However can I thank you for the compliment?” asks Bones sourly.

Spock tilts his head. “There is no need. How is all of this relevant to my research and your monthly entertainment?”

“Right,” Bones says. “The thing is, _Ariel 42_ isn’t the kind of thing guys are into. I can’t have you going ‘round telling people I watch this sort of thing.”

“Ah. You are ashamed. I had a roommate at the academy- Gilbert Cale- who was very secretive about his enthusiasm for the webgraphic ‘Busty Andorian Babes.”

Bones reddens. “This is nothin’ like that. It’s not _porn_ , Spock. It’s just a guilty pleasure, alright? Somethin’ to help me unwind. You keep it to yourself, I’ll keep it to myself and I’ll try and return the chips as soon as possible for you and no one has to speak of this again.”

“I see. Your purpose in bringing me here was to create an arrangement whereby you sign out the chips first.” Spock’s eyes narrow. “I refuse to let your viewing habits interfere with my research schedule.”

“You can’t just sign things out for weeks at a time,” Bones argues.

Spock moves toward the door. “There is no regulation which suggests I cannot.”

“But I’ll have the first one back for you within the day.”

“I do not accept your proposition, Doctor,” Spock says loudly into the hallway. A passing Nurse raises his eyebrows and leers a little. Bones makes a high pitched squeaking noise of protest.

“For God’s sake man, keep your voice down!” Bones glares at Spock, “If you’re not willing to compromise, then all bets are off.”

Spock stiffens his back and glares in return. “In your vernacular, Doctor, it is on.”

*********************

The next time the ship stops for supplies, there is a mysterious tribble infestation outside Spock’s lab station. The Science officers spend three hours collecting the purring fur-balls and have to put in extra hours to log all their new supplies. Needless to say, by the time Spock makes it to the library all new episodes of _Ariel 42_ are long gone. Spock checks back every day, but they do not reappear. Horrifyingly, a purple-haired ensign has taken to showing up there at the same time as Spock, batting her lashes at him while pretending to rifle through the classic documentary section. Spock refrains from clenching his fists. This state of affairs is no longer satisfactory.

*********************

Scotty had tried to host fortnightly poker games down in engineering, but it was only a couple of months before crisis came calling and any semblance of a schedule was abandoned. Scotty sent out invites for tonight, though, and Bones is thoroughly looking forward to some good company and a good game. When Scotty announces a new player, however, Bones is astonished to see Spock seated at the table, poker chips stacked neatly before him. By the end of the night, Bones is cleaned out and Spock demands the data chips he’s still holding hostage. He forks them over with as little fanfare as possible and growls when anyone asks questions. The next morning, Jim approaches him to ask why Spock is coming to him for porn. Bones despairs of his life in particular and the world in general.

*********************

Spock has volunteered to stay on the bridge for two out of the three days of shore leave. This little moon is supposed to have a particularly fine amusement park. It enjoys a bustling tourist-driven economy and planet-side accommodations are scarce at this time of year, so people are beaming down in waves. He is about to report for duty when Jim bounds into his quarters with Bones in tow. Apparently, Bones has helpfully volunteered his hotel room for the night. Jim goes on about how they’ll be able to see the neighbouring moon and the mother planet waxing full and describes the wooden rollercoaster with a glee previously reserved for particularly shiny ancient weaponry. Spock acquiesces gracefully and has a surprisingly lovely time, rollercoaster notwithstanding. When he returns to the ship, Bones has checked out the newly uploaded data chips. He does not return them.

*********************

The _Enterprise_ stops at Starbase 79 only two and a half weeks later to pick up supplies that need ferrying to a new colony. Bones heads to replenish his entertainment supply in a leisurely fashion. He is bright-eyed, bushy-tailed and has a spring in his step. Three different people working in Sickbay stop him to ask if he’s feeling alright. When he reaches the A’s, Spock is waiting. He looks calm as ever.

“Hello Commander,” Bones says.

“Doctor,” Spock greets, inclining his head. “It appears a compromise must be reached. Are you amenable to discussion?”

Bones steeples his fingers and says, “Sure, I’m ‘amenable’. I’ll return the chips as soon as I can and then you can research as much as you damn well please.”

“It would be more equitable if we simply traded opportunities to sign out the chips first and agree to return them in a speedy fashion.”

“Sounds fair,” Bones grudgingly agrees. He hands over his hoarded bounty without fanfare and signs out the new ones. “I’ll have ‘em back soon.”

“Certainly,” Spock replies.

Bones gestures towards the older episodes in Spock’s hands. “The whole thing with Lorin is good,” he says gruffly.

“I will pay careful attention to his behavioural cues,” Spock replies.

The two men part amicably.

*********************

For the next few months, everything goes swimmingly. The _Enterprise_ is due to patrol the Klingon Neutral Zone and there have been reports of skirmishes, so Jim and Scotty organize various elaborate practise drills to ‘promote team-building and test crew emergency response.’ Spock and Bones work surprisingly well together and Jim beams like a proud parent whenever they agree on something.

The patrol itself is gruelling. They were initially only supposed to stay a week, but end up spending almost a month there. After one nasty encounter with four Warbirds, the bridge crew is on high alert and everyone is tense. There is a collective sigh of relief when the Captain _finally_ orders Sulu to head to the nearest Starbase to assess minor damages.

There are a million little things to be done. By the time the _Enterprise_ is cleared and ready to go, Bones is _tired_. It’s his turn to sign out the episodes first, but he’s too worn out to do anything but sleep.

Before his next off-shift they run into a planet overrun by a kind of poisonous worm parasite, so Sickbay is packed. He spends the next twelve hours working on an antidote with the medical researchers. When that is over and done with, he naps on his office sofa all through beta shift before tackling the stack of paperwork for Starfleet Command that’s been overdue for a week. He’s signing off on the last few patients’ records when the door chimes and Spock’s voice sounds through the intercom. Bones huffs at the computer to let him in.

“Doctor McCoy,” Spock says, “I wish to inquire whether you have finished viewing the chips in your possession.”

Bones slumps back in his chair. “Haven’t had the time,” he admits.

Spock deflates ever-so-slightly. “Very well. I can attend to my other research.”

“Well,” Bones says, “ I’m pretty much done here. I was gonna go watch ‘em all now.”

“Then I shall expect them soon,” says Spock, lingering at the door awkwardly.

Bones signs the last be-damned page of the last be-damned form with a flourish. He looks over in Spock’s direction and says, “You could, uh, come along. If you want.”

Spock raises an eyebrow in surprise. “An elegant solution, certainly. I had supposed you preferred to watch in solitude. Gilbert Cale indulged in his ‘guilty pleasure,’ as you called it, most secretively.”

Bones throws his hands up in the air. “It’s not the same as porn,” he hisses. “Look, I’m leaving now. If you wanna come, the show’ll start in fifteen minutes.”

*********************

Bones is in his blue flannel pyjamas. He is stirring sugar into his tea when Spock arrives at his quarters. The whole experience is surprisingly painless. Spock makes a few snide remarks about the illogicality inherent in eating food with no nutritional value but passes over the pyjamas and tea without batting an eyelash. By the time they’re five minutes in, the two are entirely absorbed as the community deals with a serial killer in their midst.

When the next set of episodes come along, Spock invites Bones over and they soon fall into a routine. On ‘Spock weeks’ Bones goes over to his quarters once a week and when it’s Bones’ turn, he hosts a marathon in his room. The second time Spock hosts, he presents Bones with popcorn and the third time they meet, Bones decides to keep some of Spock’s strange-smelling tea in his cupboard. Spock eventually gives up the pretense of taking notes, citing perfect recall, and they occasionally discuss plot points and hypothesise and bicker, but mostly, they watch in comfortable silence.

*********************

Jim should be pretty damn pleased with life. He’s very Busy and Important. He loves his job and he’s good at it. And, things are going really well with his hot albeit slightly high-maintenance boyfriend. When Jim decided to give this relationship business a shot and asked Spock if he was interested four months ago, he’d expected a lot of serious discussion and carefully thought out dates. But dating Spock turns out to be surprisingly relaxed. He and Spock still play a lot of chess, eat and spar together, and talk about ship business; there’s just more staring into each others’ eyes now and the added bonus of fucking like bunnies. So, things are good.

It’s been a busy couple of days and Jim’s barely been off-duty all week. He stops by Spock’s quarters after his shift ends, but they’re empty. Spock isn’t in the labs either. When Jim searches for him with the computer’s help, he sees that Spock’s in Bones’ quarters. Intrigued, he heads over. There’s a long pause after he knocks and then Bones slides the door open enough to stick a rumpled head around it.

“Hey, Jim,” he says.

“Bones!” Jim replies cheerfully. “I’m here for Spock. What are you guys doing all holed up here?” He waggles his eyebrows, “Should I be jealous?”

The door opens further to reveal Spock, pristine as ever. “Hello, Jim. Is something the matter?”

“Nothing important. It’s just- we have some time off. I thought we could do that paperwork we’ve been putting off?”

Bones groans loudly. Paperwork had become a widely known euphemism for ‘special alone time,’ as Sulu put it, for the command duo. “I don’t need to hear this,” he grumbles.

“I am looking forward to joining you, Jim,” Spock says, coming forward. “Doctor McCoy and I should be finished in thirty-two minutes. Is that acceptable?”

“What are you guys doing?” Jim asks, poking his head around the the door in a manner that is far from subtle.

“Nothin’,” Bones interjects from behind Spock. “I was just showing Spock my ancient beetle collection.”

Jim raises his eyebrows. “O-kay,” he says slowly. “Well. This is weird. But, I’m glad you guys are are bonding and stuff.” He puts his hands at Spock’s hips and leans forward to whisper in one pointed ear. “I think I’ll get started on that paperwork all by myself,” he says, before pressing a kiss to Spock’s cheek. He leaves to the sound of Bones making a noise like wounded bear.

Spock is in his quarters in thirty-three minutes and Jim basks in knowledge that life is awesome.

Then he starts noticing things. Like how Spock and Bones share looks about stuff. Like when the purple-haired ensign from Engineering loudly and publicly breaks up with the mousy researcher from the botany lab after she finds out he’s also sleeping with an officer in command and a nurse. They have _inside jokes_ now. And sometimes, they’ll be sitting in the mess hall deep in conversation, only to trail off when he plunks his tray down to join them. It’s like they have _secrets_. From _him_. With _each other_.

Jim is totally not the jealous type, but he starts keeping an eye on their schedules just because. They have a lot of off-shifts together, but that’s expected. And they don’t spend huge amounts of that time together or anything; it’s just an hour here or half a shift there. He’s ecstatic that his best friend and his boyfriend are getting along but what could they be _doing_? Together... in each other’s quarters?

He casually brings it up with Spock one day, asking, “So, you and Bones, huh?”

“I do not understand, Jim,” Spock replies.

“You guys are spending a lot of time together, then? Getting along?”

“Certainly. Doctor McCoy is an esteemed colleague,” Spock says, pulling on his blue Science shirt. “Is this a problem?”

“No!” Jim says. “Not at all. It’s really great. So... what do you guys... talk about? I didn’t think you two had that much in common.”

“We research,” Spock says, doing up his boots. “And we have a number of things in common. The most statistically significant of which is you.”

“Me?” Jim squeaks. “You guys talk about me?”

“We research,” Spock repeats. “We have to be on the bridge in eight minutes, Jim.” Spock says, heading for the door.

“Right,” Jim says, feeling a rising panic. Spock and Bones do have him in common. They must be talking about him. Otherwise, what could they possibly be researching out of the labs? He’ll have to look into this.

*********************

The next time Spock and Bones mysteriously disappear, the ship’s computer places them in Spock’s quarters. He throws caution to the wind and uses his override code to enter. The lights are dimmed. He sees Spock brewing tea in the corner and Bones ambling out of the bathroom pulling his pyjama top over his head. Jim gapes in horror.

“What the fuck kind of experiment is this?”

Spock’s head snaps to look at him and Bones yelps in surprise. “Jim, what the hell are you doing here?”

“Captain,” Spock says, with remarkable aplomb. “How was your review of Engineering?”

“ _Engineering_ was excellent. Engineering is not the issue right now. Bones _stripping_ in the middle of your room is the issue. And you have _chips_ here! And they’re barbecue. That’s my _favourite_ , and you know it.” Here Jim flails in Bones general direction.

When he pauses for air, Spock and Bones at staring at him, gobsmacked.

“Jim,” Bones tries. “What in God’s name are you going on about?” Spock tilts his head expectantly.

“You are welcome to partake in the chips, Jim,” Spock says when no answer is forthcoming. He offers Jim the bowl. “Now that I am aware of your predilection for them, I shall be sure to have them on hand.

Jim sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Bones. Why are you in your pj’s? More to the point- why are you _here_ in your pj’s?”

“Jim, we’re just- having drinks.”

“Indeed,” affirms Spock. He shoves a steaming mug of tea into Bones’ hand.

“Tea?” Jim sputters. “Since when do you drink tea?”

“It’s black!” protests Bones.

“It is his beverage of choice on these research nights,” says Spock.

Jim turns accusing eyes on his best friend. “Do I know you at _all?_ ”

Bones draws himself up. “Okay look, I’m a grown man. If I wanna wind down with tea and my show, that’s my damned business.”

“Show?” Jim says, baffled.

“Part of my human cultural research,” Spock says settling in his seat and cueing up the monitor. “We are six minutes behind schedule, Jim. Would you care to stay?”

“You guys just... watch stuff?”

Bones sits heavily on the bed and stretches his legs out in front of him. “You can stay as long you pipe down. And,” he adds leaning over to glare at Jim, “never speak of this to _anyone_. Or I’ll tell Spock about that time we went camping.”

“It’s a deal,” Jim says quickly. “So,” he grins, “what are we watching?”

“Shhh,” Bones says around a chip. “It’s starting.”

 _Last week on_ Ariel 42, _Bitsie’s untimely death left Bill guilty and grieving. Frank and Lacey finally put their differences aside and...”_

“ _Ariel 42_? You guys watch soaps?” Jim demands.

Spock hits pause. He has his Irritated Eyebrows on and Bones looks ready to kill too. “Jim, silence is necessary during our research time. Detective Lance is to reveal the identity of the serial killer and I must determine whether my hypotheses were correct.”

Jim squirms in his seat, but bites his tongue as Spock starts the show up again. When Jim looks over five minutes later, he blinks in disbelief. Bones is wide-eyed and enraptured. He has his tea mug poised half-way to his mouth. Spock hasn’t moved a muscle either, completely absorbed. Onscreen, Detective Lance reveals that the serial killer is a mere high school student.

“Facsinating,” murmurs Spock, as the funeral erupts into chaos.

“Right!?” says Bones from his corner.

Jim rolls his eyes. He reaches over for some chips and settles back down, expecting Bones to lecture. He doesn’t seem to notice. Jim crunches his way through his chips as obnoxiously as he can to no avail. Spock doesn’t so much as bat an eyelash when he leave crumbs- _crumbs-_ on the cushion in his lap. It’s only when he tries to feel up Spock that he is summarily kicked out of the room, with promises of paperwork later in the day.

Feeling oddly betrayed, Jim wanders the hallways and finds himself outside Rec Room 3. He enters to find Sulu, Chekov, Keenser and the purple haired engineering chick sprawled out on the sofa watching _Shores of Vega County_.

“Oh my god,” Jim blurts. “Is this the one where Saher gets out of jail and has to talk to her father?”

“Dude!” says purple-haired chick. “No spoilers!”

“Want to watch with us, Captain?” asks Chekov.

“We have sour patch kids and beer,” says Sulu.

“Cool,” Jim replies.

Spock comes by for ‘paperwork’ twenty minutes later and Jim is dragged away promising to meet up for new episodes next week.

Yup, his life is awesome.

*********************


End file.
